We've come a long way, baby!

Today, P turned 4. She's had a spectacular birthday. Yesterday, we had a pajama party for her, at a local kids play place that we were able to reserve. All the kids came in their jammies, there was free-play on the slide and tunnels, and in the play kitchen and amongst all the toys. Face painting and a craft - moon and star wands - were also an option. I did a shared reading (little teacher talk here) of an excellent book 10 Minutes til Bedtime by Peggy Rathmann. I digress a bit, but it is an great choice for preschoolers and kinders. The illustrations are so amazing (especially if you compare it with her other books, like Goodnight Gorilla - there are some secrets and surprises in the pages!) Anyway! We also played musical sleeping bags. Pictured above is (obviously) the cake. The little bunnies on top are supposed to be slippers. I think a really fun time was had by all. I'm a dork, but I really love birthday parties...

Today, the actual birthday, E and I had to work, but a lovely friend of mine took P for the day and made it a nice time for her while I zigged and zagged about the classroom. Isn't this strange. My co-teacher's daughter has the same birthday - she turned 5 today. And, my brother and sister-in-law gave birth to their daughter this morning. She wasn't due until Sept. 2nd (first baby), hadn't dropped - total surprise. How crazy that out of all the days, she and P would land on the same birthday. I remember when SIL was talking about when (roughly) she had conceived and I joked that maybe her and her big cousin would share a birthday. Little did I know that it would happen! It's kind of crazy that another cousin is here. E and I have been together for about 12 years now and it is so bizarre to me that almost all the sibs are married with kids. E being the second oldest, we have really watched the younger ones 'come of age.' There have been five babies born in the last three years. It's so interesting to watch people grow up. Anyway. I picked up P and went home to meet E and the three of us played for awhile and then went to Red Robin for din-din, came home, opened some presents, played some more and then lights out. All in all, a good day.

Back to title of this post, so much has changed in the last four years. Not just the extended family baby boom, but in our small family. When P was first born, we took our time connecting. Motherhood felt foreign to me, like an ill-fitting pair of pants. I was fond of my small daughter, and wanted to care for and protect her. But I didn't feel that bliss, that amazement, I so wanted to experience. My mom remarked, 'I can see it is difficult - but, don't you feel like you just can't imagine life without her?' Me - 'ummm, no?' It didn't help that we had to return to the hospital a few days later because she caught a bug and spent a few days hooked up to machines, we had breastfeeing issues, our insurance was a mess, she cried a lot, and slept, little, etc, etc. I did OK for awhile, then started having insomnia because I felt just so out of sorts. It was a terrible time. What did I do? Pulled myself up by my bootstraps, started taking some meds to help me sleep, reached out for support, joined a moms group, and went back to work part-time (huge help). I look at pictures of that chapter. I looked pretty good. I remember having some nice moments. But struggling. And then, around five months, the clouds parted and the sun came out. I clearly remember, feeling 'Oh my goodness, I like being a mom! This is for me! This is fun! This kid rocks!' I continued to need meds to sleep for awhile longer, but I began to experience vividly the pleasure of motherhood. I composed songs for her, pushed her in the swing, stared to feed her solids, read stories, and flushed with pride as she sat up solidly on her own. Things continued to blossom and really soared again probably around age 2 1/2. I remember thinking - 'wow, she can run, talk, sing, play games. If I thought I enjoyed her before, well, this is really the &%$#.' By then, I was very active in my mom's group, participating with P in mommy and me type classes and just loving the new things we could share. I was able to finagle a reduce in work to three days a week. Now, at age 4, I really cannot imagine life without her. Along with my husband, she is definitely the most important person in my life. From our made-up games, sing-alongs, similar personalities and shared interests in so many things, I am awed by the gift of her and our relationship. Happy birthday, baby. We sure have come along way.